He came. He saw. He shopped. He conquered.

 

This post is for entertainment purposes only and written specifically for a contest organised by Baggout, an edgy online shopping portal. Hope you enjoy while you are here.

The following is an account of how Loki, the God of Mischief from Jötunheimr came to be the epitome of style and gentlemanly attributes on Earth in his human form “Tom Hiddles” (I am a huge fan of Tom Hiddleston) and won over everyone in spite of his prior humiliating defeat when he visited the planet with his army the last time around. He knew he had to change his game-plan and he did it well!

(Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with Norse Mythology and is in no way unappreciative of said. This is just a creative portrayal based on fiction and guided by contest rules.)

 

LOKI , the Norse god of mischief and a master of magic ran out of plans after his great defeat by earthlings who, to his utter dismay, even failed to recognize him as a god; a supreme power fit to dwell over their puny little lives.

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On returning to Asgard, he is forgiven by his brother Thor, the god of thunder and spends his time brooding over his the great defeat as his glorious plans always seem to back fire on him in some way.

But the cost of his being allowed to go free in Asgard came at a heavy price. On being stripped of all his divine power, he chose a life of hermitage away from his adoptive father, Odin’s realm.

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But his nature did not permit him a life of oblivion for long. He was enticed by a whiff of rumour carried by the cold wind about his brother Thor forsaking his kingly duties and returning to earth where he received a grand welcome for his “GODLY LOOKS”. Loki shakes his head at Thor’s vanity.

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Look little brother! They all love me for my fabulous god hair!

Then a new plan brews in Loki’s head that involves him unraveling the secret of real dominion over the earth’s creatures. He begins to discover their many secrets. He observes them to understand what captures their minds and what inspires them. He convinces his brother to lift the magical ban on his visiting the planet and allow him a short trip to clear his head and better understand the beings of earth. In return, he would not create any more mischief in Asgard or on Earth. Thor, in all his blind love for his brother, agrees to it at once but warns him that he will be keeping an Hawk-eye on his every move.

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So my brother, Thor, took the bait. * wink *

Once on Earth, Loki begins a long struggle to discover the secret of dominion over the earthlings, he stops obsessing over their habits and observes what they focus on instead.

One sunny day in June, Loki discovers the internet.

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The earthlings turn out cleverer than he thought. He decides to dig deeper.

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(text in illustration mine; illustration source down below)

On discovering the internet and it’s power over humanity, he decides to give another attempt at dominion over Earth. He sits immersed for several earth minutes and decides to call for Thor’s aid. But Thor would probably be busy showing off his good looks and signing contracts for commercials, so it might be better to call on the astrophysicist, Jane foster, a smart earthling, who would help him if he traded the secret of the NINE WORLDS, the one she’s wasting years of her puny lifetime to unearth. She would naturally help in the ways of her people especially when it comes to an attempt of conquering them.

And his plan worked! He did keep his part of the bargain and told her the secret of the nine realms, too bad those security people took away all that work including her little scratch pad. But her help was invaluable. She taught him the meaning of “if looks could kill” and he got an amazing cash back! Need I say more!

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Ah! Finally. He conquerors them.

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And now they all love him so much and are willing to forgive his past errors of picking up the wrong side and proclivities that tended to destroy the planet.

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eheheheheh!!!

Written by Ananya for Baggout contest.

** Unless stated otherwise, picture source is this amazing facebook page that I came across 2 years ago. Their humour rocks!!

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